Depression isn't sadness. It's more like a burial shroud. It's a living sort of death, in which the sadness is you mourning for yourself, mourning the loss of everyone and everything you know. It is a curtain of devastation. It's a funeral.

Eventually, you may become numb to it, but you never truly feel, while depressed, unless it's just enough feeling to feel sadness.

Sadness comes and goes. Grief eventually lifts. But depression hangs on, more fiercely than either. And the kicker is, it seems so pointless. It's like being the zombified victim of a random killing spree, perpetually trying to grasp the senselessness of it.

If you've never felt a grief-like sadness than has hung on beyond any amount of reasonableness, you've never been truly depressed. If you've never looked out of your window, and seen nothing by gray, in the daytime, you've not experienced depression. If you've never hugged your child and wept with overwhelming feelings of inadequacy and throes of guilt, crying as if they child is dead, you've never had a depressive episode. It's best if you keep your mouth shut, when you try to encourage someone who can barely get dressed.

Things to say and not say to someone who is depressed:
http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20393228,00.html

Personal gratification has a bit of merit in healing, but not by itself. Reach for wholeness, for healing, and not personal gratification, alone.

Grawp - A functional Character?

I've read criticisms of JKR's character Grawp, that he was unnecessary, etc.

Actually, he wasn't all that unnecessary, in my opinion. He serves two functions:

1. He is familial support for Hagrid, which makes the readers happy for Hagrid. We want to see Hagrid have family and love when Dumbledore is gone, and when the "fearsome threesome" is gone from school. Of course there are others there that can provide family, but everyone needs blood kin, especially since Hagrid is so different.

2. He is a segue to getting rid of Umbridge. This is arguable, of course. There are other methods of getting rid of Umbridge, sure. Which ones allow us to see Hagrid share his big ole heart with someone else? Other methods for satisfying both things might actually open up more literary debts for JKR. I think her method was both gratifying and simple enough. We can imagine Hagrid dealing with Grawp, and I loved reading about the big lump. ^_^

So, of course I post and think of other reasons why Grawp fits. Not only do we get some sort of glimpse into the kind of child Hagrid was, we get to see him grow up, in taking care of someone new. With this information, the story is rounded out.

Alone

You want to bear the burden alone?
Let me at least walk with you.

Stand on the pyre, alone?
Let me stand near you.

You would take the spear for me?
Let me hold your hand as you bleed.

You would take away my suffering in the body,
But that can’t protect my soul…

That is where you do and always will dwell.
I would rather suffer with you than live a moment alone.

Alston

Bring it here, your storm inside
Bring them here, the clouds to be cried
Let that wind blow into my soul
Let it clear the debris and make me whole

Embrace me with the walls of wind
Against you, I will be pinned
So that the dark that chills you
Unveils my inner light, too

I will let my internal cracked land
Suck away the deluge in your hand
Let your eyes pour into my craggy aquifer, your rage
Let my eyes shine sunny in, and dry your tumult cage

Touch me, the sunbaked and stormy worlds to gain
Touch you, and let us heal our pain

Leach the Poison

Dealing with you is like drinking poison.
Pour another glass, barkeep.
You're buying; what's the limit?
I'll take another glass, barkeep.
You drank all the poison poured for you.
Another poisonous round, barkeep.
You put down your money; I drink all too.
Cheers! Keep it coming, barkeep.
You've had your fill, I drink it still.
Closing time already, barkeep?
On your dime, I've gotten my fill.
Go on, close up, barkeep.
You've filled me up, with your poisonous cup,
But now I'm sick as hell.
Wretching, again and again, I vomit it all up,
And it's just as well.
The innocence downed, my sanity drowned,
I kill another friendship, awe hell.
Have you opened again, barkeep?

Shredded

I am shredded.
Your love is a fury.
Your care is scorn.
I am hopeless.
Your tenderness, a blade.
Your concern a searing flame.
My love is a burden.
It has lashed me to the moor.
It is a gangrenous limb.
Your love's edge glints above.
It rises and comes down with a slash!
STOP! Wisdom dictates that I let you cut it off, to damage my love beyond repair. But I cannot consent...

I cannot consent.

Sun, What Right Have You to Shine?

Winter is upon us,
Winter of the soul.
The heart is laced with ice.
The yearning turns me cold.

I see the monochrome trees.
I touch the steel leaves.
I see the false-color sky.
I feel the captured breeze.

My lover is trapped.
In a bland cocoon he's wrapped.
Inside a pseudo-sphere,
To a monochrome tree, he's strapped.

Sun, shine on, be stout.
Erase all tears, all doubt.
Shine into that sphere.
Please break my lover out.

I Won't Hate You, October

I love the breeze
The crunchy leaves
I love the darkening sky
I love the smells
The laughter sails
And baking a pumpkin pie
You come before the dark of winter
After you all lands are hinter-
But everyone loves you, especially I
Though in you, the first did beat me
The second did leave me
The second leaves again, and I cry
I loved you as a child
I love you all the while
October, I'll love you until I die